Toothpaste Struggles...

Photo by Amy Bollwinkel Photography

As a newly wed, it is fun to live with your best friend. Sleepovers every night are the best. You can say goodnight to each other and not have to get in your cars and drive to your own homes every night. But sometimes the adjustment of living with a full-time, in-your-space-and-every-action/decision-roommate is less than fun. Actually, sometimes it is plain hard. It can be emotionally challenging to make the adjustment. It is a good thing to experience but that doesn’t make it less tricky.

I am not going to lie- I have some OCD tendencies. And when I stop to think about it, I feel bad for Dan. I am sure it is hard for him to try to remember and accommodate my wishes. And it is hard for me to recognize how insignificant the results of his actions are on everything else. But I enjoyed reading this snippet this week. It brought some peace to know that I am not alone in my craziness.

“I like to squeeze the toothpaste very systematically from the bottom of the tube making sure that every particle is methodically herded toward the nozzle… After emptying any part of the tube, I fold it so that none of the toothpaste can retreat and hide. I can easily justify my system as tidy and frugal. When [my wife] grabs the tube in the middle and thoughtlessly squeezes, a shudder runs through my soul. She seems like a good person . . . how could she act in such a reckless way?
Just as a Book of Mormon king was willing to give away all his sins to know God (Alma 22:18), I must be willing to give away all my petty preferences in order to know the godliness in [my wife]’s soul. I don’t lecture her or condescend to her. I may explain my method, but when it is clear that she is not going to be a conscientious paste-holder, I simply buy a clip to clamp on my tiny folds.
Of course this applies to toothpastes, dirty socks, and messy kitchen counters—and much more! “

I need to buy clips or just let more things go. I need to remember that my world will not come crashing down if the shower curtain gets left bunched up while it is wet, or if dishes get left in places other than the sink. It shouldn’t matter if things get folded the way I’d like them or not. My husband puts forth so much effort in everything he does. He is so often motivated by his desires to make me happy. I should graciously and whole-heartedly accept his efforts and let it go.

“Marriage provides glorious opportunities to practice consecration. … we are invited to dedicate our lives, our talents, our weekends, and our weaknesses to the sacred enterprise of sanctifying our marriages and ultimately perfecting our souls.
In the day-to-day struggles of marriage we may fail to see that this ultimate sacrifice qualifies us for the ultimate reward. We shall “inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths”—all that the Father hath (see D&C 132:19)!
This total willingness to sacrifice must not be misunderstood. This is not the same as becoming a gelatinous blob with no form or purpose. This ultimate sacrifice is combined with obedience and informed by the gospel of Jesus Christ to provide an appropriate sacrifice. As God would have it, our whole-soul offerings are likely to bless our partners even as they refine us.”

I love this concept of practicing consecration in our marriages. As spouses, we are meant to lift and support one another in our weaknesses. We are to minister to, to pray for, to love and to bless one another. Always.

“Consecration has everything to do with marriage. It is much more than “staying together for the kids.” It is acting to redeem our partners and our covenants with everything we have and everything we may draw from heaven. We do all of this in order to establish Zion in our homes.”

How important that is- to support Zion in our homes! And that is only possible if we are consecrated in our marriages.