“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. “ – The Family: A Proclamation to the World
Husbands and wives are supposed to be equal partners. Their roles are different from one another’s but not more/less important. Spouses are to stand side-by-side with one another just like with a pair of oxen. A team of oxen is to be equally yoked- meaning well matched/paired up based on size, strength, ability to work as a team, coordination and/or other pertinent attributes. When a good pair is made, the team is successful at hauling extremely heavy loads. They coordinate their movements to work together, without one or the other slacking and making it harder on the other. They step together, they hit the yoke together, and they endure the haul together. Just like those strong creatures, we too (with our chosen spouse) are a team, a pair, ready to pull our load together! We must stay true to one another, not thinking one is better or more capable than the other. It takes the strength and determination of both members of the partnership! We made our choice when we were married and now it is time to pull, together! “ 'Choose your love; love your choice.' There is great wisdom in those few words. Commitment in marriage is absolutely essential.” —Thomas S. Monson
President and Sister Hinckley were a great example of being supportive partners that didn’t try to control or reign over one another. They said the following in a church magazine interview:
Church magazines: Sister Hinckley, you have said that your husband “always let me do my own thing. He never insisted that I do anything his way, or any way, for that matter. From the very beginning he gave me space and let me fly.” How has he done that?
Sister Hinckley: He never tells me what to do. He just lets me go. He has made me feel like a real person. He has encouraged me to do whatever makes me happy. He doesn’t try to rule or dominate me.
Church magazines: President, you have said: “Some husbands regard it as their prerogative to compel their wives to fit their standards of what they think to be the ideal. It never works.” How have you avoided doing this with Sister Hinckley?
President Hinckley: I’ve tried to recognize my wife’s individuality, her personality, her desires, her background, her ambitions. Let her fly. Yes, let her fly! Let her develop her own talents. Let her do things her way. Get out of her way, and marvel at what she does…If there is anything that concerns me, it is that some men try to run their wife’s life and tell her everything she ought to do. It will not work. There will not be happiness in the lives of the children nor of the parents where the man tries to run everything and control his wife. They are partners. They are companions in this great venture that we call marriage and family life
(Marjorie Pay and Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, October 2003, pp. 22, 27).
