Photo by Emilie Ann Photography

The family is under attack on many fronts in our day. One attack is by muddling the issues of the definition of “marriage” itself and who is able to participate in a legal/civil union. Many issues have surfaced as same-sex couples have desired to be legally recognized and joined. We know that the Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples have the right to be married and by so doing, they redefined marriage for our country. I do not necessarily oppose their ruling that same-sex couples should be able to be legally joined together if that is their wish, however I struggle with their new definition. I wish that the general public would see a distinction between the terms “civil/legal union” and “marriage”.

Civil union: 

If a couple wants to be viewed in the legal realm as being together, regardless of their sex or sexual attraction, nothing should be questioned or restricted by the government. It is easier to be recognized as a household if there is a legal union. This legal union permits protection to the couple and allows them to share benefits. It simplifies life together. It does not harm anyone else. I believe they should be able to be legally joined if that is their desire. (I am not talking about morals here, just legal acknowledgement that they are unified within the world.)

Marriage: 

This way of life was set by God and has been accepted throughout all time, by societies, cultures and people around the world. Marriage between one man and one woman has been the social ideal since the beginning of time. I love that the Supreme Court case even noted this,

   

“The centrality of marriage to the human condition makes it unsurprising that the institution has existed for millennia and across civilizations. Since the dawn of history, marriage has transformed strangers into relatives, binding families and societies together. Confucius taught that marriage lies at the foundation of government… This wisdom was echoed centuries later and half a world away by Cicero, who wrote, “The first bond of society is marriage; next, children; and then the family.”

To take it a step further, marriage is the sacred union between a husband and a wife and God. It is the foundation of the ideal family. My struggles come into play as government and society try to change what God has defined. They cannot change His definition of marriage or family without serious consequences.

Elder Bruce C. Hafen explains some of the issues that arise as/if same-sex marriages are accepted:

“France, which is not exactly the most conservative country in the world, rejected gay marriage in 2006, because its parliament concluded that these marriages run counter to the best interests of children and the future society.  France was not ready, as a matter of conscious public policy choice, to throw out its babies with the bathwater of gay activism.  They concluded that marriage should serve a child’s right to optimal personal development, rather than primarily serving adult interests that trump children’s interests.”

“ marriage [is viewed] as a social institution. …marriage is inevitably built around children, and every country that has adopted same-gender marriage has soon afterward authorized adoption and surrogate gestation by same-gender couples.  But, they concluded, France could “no longer systematically place [the] aspirations of adults ahead” of children’s needs and rights. “

“Insofar as possible, it said, each child has the right to know and be cared for by — and be bonded to — his or her biological parents.  Biological bonding combined with legal bonding inherently creates the most lasting and stable adult-child relationships, which provides the emotional and legal security required for optimal child development. Occasional adoptions may be necessary in exceptional cases, but there are plenty of stable heterosexual married couples who wish to adopt all available adoptive children.   The French report said that to accept a public policy that consciously places children with homosexual adults increases the risks to children who are already at risk because they feel identity confusion and abandonment by their biological parents. To ignore this need is to discriminate against these children.  Adoption is about a child’s right to a regular family, not merely about an adult’s right to a child.”

“So France rejected same-gender marriage so that children “do not suffer as a result of situations imposed on them by adults.  The interest of the child must outweigh the exercise of freedom by adults, whatever life choices are made by the parents.”  This view takes marriage away from the private, adults-only world of gay and lesbian lifestyles and returns it to its original place as society’s primary social institution.”

(http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/elder-bruce-c-hafen-speaks-on-same-sex-attraction) 

In similar and dissimilar ways to those expressed in connection to  France, our view of “the ideal family” has disintegrated over time. As such, our nation is not as strong as it once was. To build that national strength again, we need to strengthen our smallest units; our families. If that is to be done, society needs to accept an ideal to strive for. The common sayings of “if you aim for nothing, you will hit it every time” and “if you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there” take on new meaning in this light. Dissolving or changing the cultural definition of marriage the way that it was done with the Supreme Court case greatly affects the ideal and in turn, society.

It is universally accepted that procreation takes one man and one woman. Procreation is the means by which a family is created. A family is established from a marriage. Therefore, marriage between one man and one woman must be our ideal for it was the ideal established by our Creator. We need to help society see that if we are to gain strength, it must start in our home, within our families.

Again, I want to reiterate: My issue lies with the government redefining marriage. The legalization of same gender union is separate in my mind and I wish it would have been more separate in the court case too. I wish we would be better with the distinction between marriage and legal union.

Photo Credit: http://emilieannphotography.com/

Marriage is vital in God’s plan of happiness for His children. Marriage between and man and a woman promotes stable families.

God sends us to Earth to live in families to help us be happy and feel His love. Families bring stability, peace, comfort and love to its individual members.

In today’s world, divorce is growing ever more common. I believe for many, if their marriage were built and sustained on divine love that may be different.
Spencer W. Kimball taught,

“Divine love is not like that association of the world which is misnamed love, but which is mostly physical attraction. When marriage is based on this only, the parties soon tire of each other. There is a break and a divorce, and a new, fresher physical attraction comes with another marriage, which in turn may only last until it too becomes stale. The love of which the Lord speaks is not only physical attraction, but also faith, confidence, understanding, and partnership. It is devotion and companionship, parenthood, common ideals and standards. It is cleanliness of life and sacrifice and unselfishness. This kind of love never tires nor wanes. It lives on through sickness and sorrow, through prosperity and privation, through accomplishment and disappointment, through time and eternity.”

In saying this, I do not mean to overlook the fact that there are definitely circumstances which call for divorce, i.e. abuse, neglect, betrayal etc. However, I am not going to even touch those. I am speaking more to those who divorce for convenience, to look for a more comfortable fit, because they don’t feel anything anymore. Divorce or separation is not the solution for these situations. These call for repentance and change. They require effort to fight for strength in their marriage.

Marriage and family are truly the fundamental units of society. If we want strength to return to our nation, we need to worry less about what is happening in The White House and more what is happening in OUR HOUSE. We need to teach and share the truths that are found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We need to strengthen the family unit!

I believe, as stated in The Family: A Proclamation to the World,

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live…

Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners…

We warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.” (https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&old=true)

Marriage is essential to God’s plan of happiness. Strong families are vital to having a strong nation. We need to work to obtain divine love for our spouses and to keep our marriage and family strong. Don’t turn to divorce as a universal solution, turn to Christ.

In my own marriage, I don’t let myself see divorce as an option. When there are problems, my husband and I have to talk it out and try to understand one another. We have to pray. We have to read the scriptures. We have to be willing to see things from one another’s perspectives. We have to be willing to give and take.

I am grateful for Dan who loves me in my weak moments. He sees the good in me when I can’t see it in myself. He is my friend and my cheerleader. He is kind and loyal. He is the father I want for my future children. We are not perfect but I hope that we may continue to develop divine love for one another and always cultivate a closeness between us. This will translate into the lives of our children when they one day join our family.

Save the Family, Janice Kapp Perry: https://open.spotify.com/track/1lruNnRyuMy6HJGKf99Woo