But to me, there is merit to the saying "happy wife, happy life". In my mind, the idea of this statement is meant for a husband to recognize that his wife has different priorities, want and needs than he may have. It is a reminder for him to be aware of her emotional needs and be willing to figure out what makes her happy. Once those these are identified, he should be willing to help fulfill those needs where appropriate.
This statement can and should be reversed for happy husbands too! Although it is less catchy "happy husbands, happy life" is just as true! It is not a one way street. A wife needs to be aware of her husband's needs, wants and desires too. She should strive to help make her husband happy.
"One great problem in this, as in all other aspects of marriage, is selfishness. I doubt that there is any human relationship better than marriage to teach us the need for Christlike love—that unqualified and unconditional love that persuades us to think more of another than we think of ourselves. Yet few of us, even those of us in a seemingly good marriage, have learned to do this as well as we could or should. It’s not always easy to put all other considerations aside and look to our companion to see what his or her needs are and then do our best to fulfill them. One young wife said that the problem isn’t necessarily that husbands and wives don’t know how to love each other, but that “people don’t know how to love people.” We tend to do for others what would make us happy if someone would do the same for us. And afterward we wonder why the other person isn’t happy. One great key to success in marriage is to find out what would make our spouse happy and then to find joy in providing that happiness." -Brent A. Barlow
When this approach is taken and each spouse is doing doing all that they can to care, serve and love for the other, it will be a very happy relationship. Marriage requires give and take. Relationships are happier when filled with service.
"When we are feeling irked, annoyed or irritated with our spouse, we have our back towards heaven. We are guilty of pride. In a spiritual sense we are saying to our spouses, "You are not meeting my needs the way that I would like them to be met. Don't you realize that is your job?! Your every act is to be dedicated to my happiness. Now hop to it!" (Goddard).Instead of feeling that our spouse is neglecting our needs, we should flip that way of thought and constantly be striving to serve and love our spouse, determining to never let them feel that way towards you. I do not mean this is a score-keeping kind of way, but just a golden rule kind of way; Do unto others as you would have done unto you. If both spouses were to take this approach, they would draw closer to one another, become better friends, be happier and more kind. Blessings flow when we take a selfless approach to our marital relationship instead of a selfish one.
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| Dan fearlessly hiked to the top of Mt. Fuji with me in August, despite struggling with severe altitude sickness. He is STRONG! He is BRAVE! He is COURAGEOUS! And he goes along with my crazy ideas. |
As Dan and I have been moving and preparing for the move, stress levels have been high. Our normal levels of natural service toward one another has been lower than normal. Especially from me to Dan. But he is wonderful. He is always thinking what I would appreciate. He is always trying to anticipate what I might enjoy or what would make me happy. He is the MVP in my life. I have honestly been such a grump trying to make sure I get all of the little things taken care of on both ends. Yet he happily stands by me and loves me through these rough patches. He goes along with my crazy ideas. He asks what I need and what I would like. He cares about my feelings. He tries to lessen my stress. Dan is selfless. I love him.
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